


anguis lilium

by babyboysammy, radagastthebrown



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Marauders' Era, Out of Character, Self-Worth Issues, Slow Burn, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-04-15 13:37:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4608789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyboysammy/pseuds/babyboysammy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/radagastthebrown/pseuds/radagastthebrown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...i want to fix my mistakes."<br/>The man grinned an eerily smile<br/>"well then the clocks ticking." he said with a clap of his hands as the room began to spin.</p>
<p>(Not abandoned, sorry updates are taking so long!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kissing you is like clockwork

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own these characters they are J. K. Rowling's. I am just borrowing them for the time being.

May 2nd 1998  
shrieking shack

            Severus had once thought that dying would be his worst fate but hurting the only person that he had ever truly loved was far more excruciating. As bitter sweet thoughts of Lily flowed into his mind he knew then that no matter what happened, if he lived or died. He would never be happy without her. As his vision slowly turned dark he gladly welcomed death, just as he was so close to succumbing to the indescribable pain from naginis bite he heard a familiar voice.

            "Sev..." the voice sounded so fragile he was almost certain that it was just an hallucination from the poison coursing through his veins.  
A soft breeze caressed his face and the faint smell of vanilla wafted into the air, as if being transported back in time he remembers her, together as they always used to be. In her house as a child, the hugs, the soft smiles, her laughter, her smell. Sweet vanilla, even when he left their warm home and trudged back to his own private hell, her smell permeated his worn clothing making him strong enough to hold onto himself in his darkest hours.

            As Severus remembers he starts to wail "Oh Lily, forgive me for the wrongs I have done towards our friendship, for the wrongs I have done towards you. You were the only one I cared for, the only one I truly shared my secrets with. Oh, If only I could see you for one last time, I'd grovel at your feet and plead for forgiveness."  
"Sev..." the voice had gotten stronger

            As he layed upon the bloodied cold floor waiting for death to come. He suddenly felt a soft caress on his cheek, as he opened his eyes he immediately recognized the emerald green orbs staring loving back at him.

            "Oh Sev how long I have missed you." her warm breath tickling his ear.  
"Li-lily? H-h-how are you here? How are you even.."  
"Shhhhh Sev, I'm here now" Lily soothed while brushing his hair out of his face.  
"Lily, I am so sorry. My only friend, please forgive me. All I want is your forgiveness." Severus begged.  
"No need for apologies Severus, all I long for is a kiss..." Lily replied huskily with hungry eyes.

            She slowly moved her cold hands to in case his face between them. As she placed a kiss on his bloody lips, Severus closed his eyes and sighed. Now when he died at least he would die knowing that Lily had forgiven him, that Lily had loved him as he loved her. A suddenly wave of calmness had covered him, he knew no fear anymore. Just her.

            The kiss was everything. Passionate, lighting up everything that he could still feel.  
His toes and fingers felt numb from it, or maybe that was because he'd been poisoned. Oh right he remembered grimly, he couldn't have this, he could never have this, he would die soon and he'd never get to have this feeling again. Maybe he was already dead and this was the afterlife...or maybe it was hell. Reminding him that he could never have her.

            As worries dweled on in his mind he gently pushed Lily away ending the kiss abruptly. "...Lily I do not know if this is real, I do not know if this is payback for the bad i have done but neither of those matters, if I die now or somehow live...I just need you to know that I have loved you with all that I am since I have known you and I will continue to love you in death." Severus whispered shakily with his eyes still closed.

            As a sad smile graced his face it immediately dropped when he opened his eyes only to see the form of Lily turn into a very handsome man, dressed in all back. The man grinned coyly as he ran his fingers sensually over Severus body.

            "What, you don't want to kiss me anymore hm? Well that's just too bad, you're quite the kisser if i do say so myself Sev."

and just like that the man smashed his lips against his in a violent unrelenting kiss that took his very breath away. They broke apart panting hard, smiling wide the man rasped

            "How about this Sev my boy, I'll make you a wonderful deal and give you what you've always truly desired"  
"and why would you want to do that" Severus spat back menacingly with cold eyes.  
Well Sev I've been watching you and I have quite the soft spot for star-crossed lovers"  
As his cold look broke he whispered "I do not deserve a second chance..., I do not deserve anything but death"

            "Well now Severus don't be so glum. We can always undo the past...for a fee." The man declared gleefully.  
"I will send you back to fifth year to undo your mistakes the only rule is that you have until the seventh year to make her fall in love with you. If you do not achieve that, then you'll be forced to work for me to claim another soul in favor of yours, do we have a deal?

            "...whose soul will i have to claim if i fail?" Severus questioned.  
"that my dear boy, is for me to know and for you to never find out, now do we have a deal or not?"

            "...i want to fix my mistakes."  
The man grinned an eerily smile  
"well then the clocks ticking." he said with a clap of his hands as the room began to spin.


	2. Old "friends"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Severus woke up with a shout and lunged forward only slightly missing his cot before vomiting. He gagged recalling the putrid taste of rotting flesh, too immersed in his own thoughts he had hardly noticed he wasn't alone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the super short chapter, we will be updating more frequently though with longer chapters soon!

            Severus woke up with a shout and lunged forward only slightly missing his cot before vomiting. He gagged recalling the putrid taste of rotting flesh, too immersed in his own thoughts he had hardly noticed he wasn't alone.

  
            "What the hell?" exclaimed Avery with a grimace on his face, apparently not happy with Snapes interference of his morning rituals.  
"Last night you were crying like an arse over that redheaded slag and now you're bent over retching your guts out. Get a grip you lazy sod, we've got class in an hour." Mulciber grumbled while putting his robes on.

  
            Picking up his head Severus retorted "Piss off you twat." before settling back to catch his breath. Suddenly his eyes snapped open focusing on his surroundings, gaze darting from Mulciber to Avery. He quickly realized that he was in his old hogwart dormitories, Severus clumsily rushed to get out of bed but his legs got caught up within his duvet propelling him onto the dusty floor with a loud thump.

  
            "Walk much Snape?" Mulciber mocked as a smug grin graced his features.  
Avery walked slightly towards Severus, while looking down he muttered "Mulciber was just taking the piss, but you should hurry exams are today." Grabbing his wand from the dresser Avery quickly deposited it into his robe pockets.

  
            "Hurry up Avery! Transfiguration exams are today and Mcgonagall isn't the kind of professor you'd want to hold up." Mulciber chided. Avery promptly joined him, with one last look towards Severus they left. Leaving the dorm quiet and vacant.


	3. The first rule of Fight Club:

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wand drawn to Potters throat he muttered coldly "I think you have unfinished business here."

            As soon as he heard his dorm mates footsteps fade away Severus quickly pushed himself onto his wobbly feet and stumbled towards their mirror and gasped. Gazing at his reflection he sees himself as he once was, a young broken man but one that still had a glimmer of hope in his sorrow-filled eyes. As he lightly began to graze his fingertips on his pale unscarred face he heard the clock chime.  
"Oh hell, exams" Severus muttered bitterly under his breath as he rushed to put on his robes. He hurried off down the hall as if his life depended on it not even noticing that he was about to run head first into another student.

            Suddenly sprawled on the floor he heard an unrecognizable voice,  
"Uh, hello? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, are you alright?"  
Slowly he opened his eyes while clutching his head  
"Yeah I'm alright just took a hard fall, I was in a bit of a rush" Severus said numbly.  
"Yeah me too, exams. Here let me at least help you up" the dark haired boy said with the corner of his lips twitching up into grin.  
Grabbing onto the other boy's outstretched hand he was pulled onto his feet. Quickly Severus nodded his thanks to him and hurried off to class. Breathing hard he finally rounded the corner swiftly making it into the room and finding his seat.

  
            "Good of you to finally join us Mr. Snape, now if you could make room in your busy schedule to make it to class on time that would be greatly appreciated." Professor Mcgonagall chided coldly. As his classmates giggled Severus nodded glumly while taking out his quill to start his exam. Halfway through the first part of his written essay Severus looks up to scan the room, his eyes instantly finding its way to Lily Evans seat and as if she could feel his eyes on her, Lily turned her head and smiled sweetly towards him. Smiling dopily Severus went back to his test.

  
            "Students quills down, Exams are over for the day. If you have not completed your essays please come see me later and we will talk about when you can do so" Professor Mcgonagall stated and quickly with a flick of her wand she collected the exams as the clock began to chime.  
As the students began to disperse and run off to their next class, Severus made his way quietly down the steps and across the courtyard as he saw her striking red hair blow through the breeze.

  
            _"God she is so beautiful"_ Severus thought instantly, as he neared the lake side she waved him over with a grin. Happily complying he hurried over towards Lily only to be cut off by Potter and his buddies. "Well this feels familiar..." Severus groaned internally as his stomach twisted into knots.

  
            "Oh look guys, it's Snivellus" James said with a mean smirk as his gang cackled, while Remus looked distant quickly hiding himself among words within his textbook.  
"Did you need my notes again Potter? or did you finally figure it out in that brainless head of yours?" Severus muttered coldly with a steel look in his eyes.  
Throwing up his wand with a haughty laugh "You're going to regret that you greasy little death eater wannabe" as he quickly casted a jinx spell filling Severus's mouth with soap bubbles.

  
            "Leave him alone!" Lily spat with all the hatred she could muster.  
"All right there Evans?" James asked, voice turning smooth.  
"I said leave him alone James, what's he done to you?"she questioned while looking at him with disgust.  
"Well, you see..it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..." James sneered as Sirius and Wormtail laughed while surrounding watchers bite at their lip to keep their giggles from coming out.

  
            "You think you're funny," She seethed "But you're just an arrogant, bullying, toerag Potter. Leave him alone now."  
"I will if you'll go out with me, Evans." James quickly assured "Go on a date with me, and I'll never lay a wand on Snivelly again."  
As James tries to persuade Lily The Impediment Jinx begins to wear off, spluttering around the bubbles in his mouth Severus silently starts crawling towards his wand _"All this time and I'm still this twats punching bag, maybe its time a finally teach him a lesson"_ he thinks ruefully.

  
            "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid." Lily ground out.  
"Too bad Prongs" Sirius offered before turning back to see Snape grasping his wand. "OY! Potter heads up." Turning around James quickly casts a disarming charm, putting distance between Severus and his wand again.

  
            "Uh-uh Snivelly, I think you got your head turned around thinking you could pull a fast one on me. Let me fix that for you." James snarled as he casted Levicorpus.  
As a flash of light beamed Severus was instantly propelled upside down in mid-air, robes falling over his head. Sirius, James, and Wormtail cackle as they take in his sickly thin legs and his worn grey underpants. As the crowd cheers Lily's furious expression breaks with a slight curl of her lip as if she was about to smile but she quickly tamps it back down but not before Severus can see it.

  
 _"It feels like a knife to the gut, so painful to live it the first time but to relive it again...God I deserve it. I deserve this and so much more for what I've done. I won't call her that name again, I'd cut off my own hand first."_ He thought miserably.  
"Let him d---" Lily said as she regained her venomous expression only to be cut off at the sound of Severus crashing to the hard ground below.  
The crowd quickly drew silent as James looked around in agitation and growled

  
            "Who's the plonker who let Snivellus down?"  
Sirius and Wormtail glance around cautiously with their wands drawed as Lily breathes a sigh of relief but her eyes remain worried.  
Suddenly as if out of nowhere Peter fell over, rigid as a board.  
"Oh hell, someones put a jinx on him!" Sirius said urgently "come help!"  
Lily looked stricken, biting at her lip but instead starts to drift to Severus side.

  
            Potter glances back and forth anxiously as a large force knocks Sirius onto his back.  
"SIRIUS!" James yells and he runs to him only stopped by the same unknown man Severus had met that morning.  
Wand drawn to Potters throat he muttered coldly "I think you have unfinished business here."  
"The only unfinished business I have is to muck up your face!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not writing in forever, life has been crazy ya know(I'm lazy)  
> Also sorry if we messed up on any of the British slang!


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